Super Bowl Chili Fail…

07 Feb
  • Food: Chili
  • Ingredients: Lots of tomatoes (sauce, paste, and crushed whole), beef, kidney beans, chili powder, salt
  • Prep time: 1 hour
  • Cook time: 6 hours

I don’t know if any of you were aware of this, but last weekend was the Super Bowl.  I try to get together with friends and watch the game every year.  And by watch the game, I do in fact mean eat lots of crappy game food and hang out while the tv is on in the background.

Yup, I'm not even going to pretend I know this person's name...go Football!

This years game was fantastic.  My roommate Bob threw an awesome party with some fantastic food (seriously it was fancy game food this year!!).  Kelly and I decided that we needed some classic Superbowl food that everyone would love – and who doesn’t love a good hearty chili!?

I called my mom a few days ahead of time to get a nice mild recipe–both Kelly and I are a little afraid of spice.  Now, you may not realize this, but when you know nothing about cooking, you also know nothing about most things that are related to cooking.  In this instance, I had no idea that kidney beans in a bag were any different from those in a jar.  In case no one has ever taken the time to tell you this before, THEY ARE DIFFERENT.  Not drastically different; however, if you buy the ones in the bag (like I did) because they looked prettier (they do), you will be told the day of chili making that they had to soak in water for about 5 years before they will be ready to add to the chlli… FAIL #1.  Luckily, I live less than a mile from Giant, so I headed back to purchase (less pretty) canned beans. It may not be a huge fail, but I swear the beans were judging me.

haha ... sucker

Anyway, we got to cooking, and things started to turn around.  Kelly chopped the onions.

It is so beautiful I could cry. (get it!?)

I was once again in charge of browning the meat.

I am getting really good at heating things in a pan. I only splattered myself with hot oil 4 times! A new record 🙂

And, our guest cook of the week, Kim, was in charge of all things tomatoes (we replaced our usual potato with its red hued cousin, Conan O’Brien…just kidding, we replaced it with tomatos).

She may actually kill me for using this photo. But check out that can-opening talent!!

We graciously gave Kim the most high profile (if only a little disgusting) job of squishing the whole tomatoes.

Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Finally, we took all our ingredients and put them in the Crock Pot to cook for 6ish hours!

The bagged beans were so much prettier...what a shame.

Mandatory picture of Milo begging for scraps.

Look, it's chili! Wait, no...

At this point, dear readers (a.k.a. mom and dad), I would like you to take a moment and pretend as though you just lost your incredibly intense championship game of pacman.  That fail sound is the sound that went through our heads when we took our first bite of what could only be described as tomato soup with some awkward lumps… FAIL #2.

No matter how much cheese we added, it still tasted like failure

For lack of a more eloquent description, the chili tasted bad.  Just bad.  No flavor besides tomato.  It was edible, but only for people who needed nothing but tomatoes to survive.  After reveling in our first Sunday disaster, we started realizing we didn’t add nearly enough of anything besides tomatoes.  We needed at least 2 more cans of beans, probably 2 more pounds of meat and at least 20 more spices!  The chili we had tasted nothing like my mom’s chili!  So, though the superbowl was awesome (I tip my imaginary hat to Madonna on this one), our chili was not.  However, for the first time on our blog, we will now document our attempts at reviving a failed meal…this is going to get interesting!  STAY TUNED!


Posted by on February 7, 2012 in Dinner, Sunday meal


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “Super Bowl Chili Fail…

  1. Liz Backstrom

    February 7, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Jill – this might be creepy seeing as I haven’t see you since sophomore year at Olaf, but add cumin, chili powder, a littlje bit of oregano, a little bit of brown sugar and cocoa powder (secret incredient) next time. So delicious!


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