Jill and I checked our blog views this morning and went into state of dire panic and possible mental breakdown. Two Girls, Ten Potatoes had exactly ZERO views! Distraught and disillusioned, we began coming up with schemes/desperate ploys for attention that would garner more blog views. Ideas included taking out a giant billboard on the moon (too expensive), taking out a medium-sized billboard on the beltway (too expensive), printing and handing out color fliers (too expensive), printing and handing out black and white fliers (still to expensive)… Basically, we realized we were too poor for any type of publicity. Instead, we needed to post juicier content. Because really, who wants to read about left over beef stew when you read about Paris Hilton’s new boyfriend, Miley Cyrus’s latest debacle, or Brad Pitt’s cat?
Hence, we introduce our newest feature: Fake Celebrity Gossip of the Week. Don’t worry, our blog is still about food and leftovers and that will always be our main focus. This new feature will only appear at the end of the week when we have run out of creative ways to write about leftovers but still want to blog about something (in this case, absurd made up celebrity gossip). Posts will be short and clearly marked, so you don’t end up accidentally reading about Mark Wahlberg adopting conjoined twins when you really want to be reading about beef stew leftovers. Speaking of which, we are planning another beef stew leftover post tonight, so prepare yourself to be awed by Jill’s fantastic pictures and captioning skills.
In the meantime, check out our first fake celebrity gossip post about Jennifer Aniston’s recent arm amputation.