Note: This post is part of our new feature: Fake Celebrity Gossip of the Week.
Yesterday, Jennifer Aniston underwent an emergency arm amputation. Sources close to the star report that the amputation was the result of an exotic fungus she picked up while trying to kidnap Maddox Jolie, the stepchild of her ex-husband Brad Pitt. Maddox apparently picked up the fungus on a trip to Milwaukee. He is being treated and currently expected to make a full recovery.
Aniston released this statement Thursday morning: “The loss of my arm comes at great sorrow. I am thankful for the support of my friends and family and grateful that my kidnapping attempt brought Maddox’s fungus to the attention of doctors so that he could receive timely treatment.”
Rumors abound that Aniston will be dropped from her latest contract, a biopic of Hellen Keller titled “I see with my hands” because two hands are required to play the role. Stay tuned for updates on this story as it unfolds.